hope

I was randomly mugged by a stray burst of happiness the other day. It was a very unfamiliar feeling. But today we have finally paid the deposit for our new house, so I can start believing this move will actually happen (things kept getting delayed by legal paperwork). And tomorrow we're off on holiday for a week.

chocolate :-)

I discovered our local supermarket has started stocking WHITE chocolate in its 'basics' range. It is actually really nice.
At 27p for 100g, it means I can buy 4 times as much as if buying Milky Bar
:-))))))
(yes, that's the sextuple chin I will get from eating so much chocolate ;-) )
but remember "The Lord delights in fatness"

pause for thought

I was enjoying lying in bed listening to Graham Norton on radio 2 on Thursday. I particularly enjoyed listening to the increasing panic as the time for "Pause for thought" came ever closer - the Canon due to deliver said thought was apparently stuck in traffic. She didn't make it in time, leaving Graham to do his best.
He started with "Why do bad things happen to good people?"
But he obviously felt this wasn't quite sufficient to count as a pause, so then came out with "A problem shared..........is gossip".

I am very tempted to do this in cross-stitch in the style of an old-fashioned sampler - to hang in the vestry (should we ever be in that position)
Mrpastasmissus suggests writing it on a large wooden spoon. I think that's more practical. Perhaps one should be issued to each Bible-study or prayer group leader, so they can brandish it whenever required (a bit like a yellow card!).
Hmm.... 2 wooden spoons equals a week on the sinner's stool?
I'm open to suggestions ;-)

a bad week

This week has been of the 'hide under the duvet and eat chocolate' variety. And today, a duvet simply doesn't seem far enough away. The bottom of a deep hole seems a reasonable place. Or the other side of the world.
Reasons for this?
1) mrpastasmissus has to sign on
2) An official letter saying if he wants to keep current pension benefits he needs to pay a considerable amount a month. If he chooses to pay nothing then his registration as a pastor might be at risk. Well, thanks!!!
3) Church leadership want to meet us to discuss us moving out of the manse. As if they hadn't done enough to break us already, they need to make sure of throwing us out, despite the fact they said we could stay for another 3 months. This may be a simple issue of miscommunication between them and mrpastasmissus. I don't care. We are staying until our new house gets sorted and we can move, which should be within the next 3 months.
4) Money. I only work part-time for health reasons. Mine is the only income now. So all bills, council tax etc have to get paid from what I earn (until mrpastasmissus manages to find some kind of job, which could prove interesting...). The amount the pensions people want for a full pension is half my income.

I would actually like to be somewhere where none of this exists. Where we might have some hope of a future. Where mrpastasmissus' gifts are recognised and accepted and used. Where someone actually apologises for the damage they have caused both of us. Where I will stop being reminded of this rubbish. Where I will stop feeling angry and hurt and victimised.

avoiding God

I'm busy avoiding God at present. It's not been that difficult with Guide camp occupying so much time and attention (and then the aftermath of recovering!). I thought I was just doing my usual thing of being busy and waving at God in passing, so to speak.
The trouble is, I don't avoid God completely. That would be too obvious. I talk to him a bit, general chat about what I'm up to, or what's bothering me, or that I'm too tired/busy to talk properly. Then if people ask me how things are going with God, I can tell them I'm still talking to him every day... Actually, it's more of a talking AT him...
And those who really know me know that the issue is not if I am talking to God, but if I am listening to him. Whether I am giving him a chance to get a word in edgeways and possibly disturb my life by telling me something I didn't want to hear.
But at present I don't think I want to give God a chance. Particularly as the last time I prayed like that I was shocked to find that I was blaming God for the way things have turned out, and for giving me false hope when he knew all along what would happen.
If, by definition, what God does is right, then my job is simply to accept that fact. At present, I can't. Oh, I still believe God can use this for good. But how do you go on trusting when you feel you've been let down? And how do you do it knowing that technically you haven't been let down, and therefore there is nothing for the other to apologise for?

Guide camp

I got back yesterday from Guide camp, and have spent most of today asleep! It was a good camp, although I was rather apprehensive before going - we had 33 girls, were going quite a distance, and had alot who had never camped before! Ususally we camp at the local site, which at least has the advantage of being able to get parents to come and collect their kids if there are major problems - this time it wasn't an option.
Two of us went early as the advance party to put up the tents, as the Guides were not arriving til after dark. It was rather windy, and there were some fun moments when the tents blew about as we were trying to peg them down.
Camp actually went really well, despite torrential rain one day and even stronger winds which threatened to blow three of the tents away. Fortunately the wind dropped somewhat before bedtime, and the extra pegs seemed to do the trick.
The real fun came when we took the tents down. On removing one of the pegs, water started bubbling up from the ground! We're still not sure if it was a natural spring, or a water pipe (if the latter, it was very near the surface and very weak - our tent pegs were NOT strong ones).
Although it was tiring and hard work, I had a good time. It was especially nice to be complimented on how well behaved our Guides were. Now, does anyone have any ideas how to get that kind of behaviour in our regular meetings???