moving

Yesterday mrpastasmissus and I had a day laying more laminate flooring in our new house. It was much nicer doing that than staying in the manse and doing yet more packing! We now have another room almost done and we are getting better at it. We got to meet the neighbours on both sides, who were also moving in.
Mrpastasmissus and a friend (male) have spent today packing van, driving to new house, unpacking van and driving back. Friend's wife and I have been busy dismantling IKEA furniture so the boys could then put it in the van, packing kitchen stuff and doing some hoovering. So now all of our furniture has gone and we are down to needing to pack miscellaneous "stuff". At some stage I'm sure we thought we'd sort things out BEFORE moving. I suspect it will actually be the case that it all ends up in boxes marked "to be sorted" and stays there for the next 6 years.....
Actually, the boys have done a fantastic job of shifting things. I just hope mrpastasmissus can still physically move tomorrow, as he found out today he's got a week of doing deliveries (starting tomorrow).

an amazing day

We have the keys to our new house! Today was the first of the flooring parties - having decided to put laminate flooring down in most of the house, it seemed a good excuse to get some friends together to help. Unsurprisingly, the boys had a great time with the power tools and saws. Fortunately one of them had laid laminate flooring before, and knew what to do (although mrpastasmissus sounded like he knew how to do it, I knew he was blagging - as a professional blagger myself, I do tend to recognise it!).
So we had a good time with friends in our new house. Then when we got home there was a letter for mrpastasmissus appreciating what he had given to the community here. It also contained a substantial cheque. We have no idea who it was from, as the donor had gone to considerable lengths to be anonymous. It was an amazing gift, and brought a lump to both our throats.

blessed to be a blessing

Our new house has felt too good to be true. It's far more than we ever thought we could have, and was only made possible through the extreme generosity of my parents. In fact, it's so much more than we are used to that it felt wrong. Or that we didn't deserve it and it was all going to go horribly wrong at some point.
However, mrpastasmissus now has a job - watch out for the dreaded white van man! (although it might be a red or even a blue van, he's not sure yet.) He did some van driving for Samaritan's Purse one year, and really enjoyed it, so he's looking forward to being able to drive 2 inches off other people's back bumpers ;-)
In addition to this, we realised that we actually had more money available than we had expected. Then we got an email from friends in Romania. They are also having to move out of the manse, due to retirement. They had put down a deposit on a house, but needed to pay the balance by the end of the month, and were unable to do so due to a variety of reasons. Suddenly our extra money made sense.
Being able to pass on the blessing has somehow made our own new house seem more real to me.

complaints

Meeting with the "high heid-yin" yesterday left me confused and disturbed. I had been hoping that I might get some resolution, so I could put things behind me and have a fresh start when we move in a couple of weeks. Suffice it to say I think this is unlikely to happen within that timescale.

In my professional role, I have had training in dealing with complaints. It seems there is no such training for ministers within our denomination, even ones such as this particular "high heid-yin" who has supposedly been trained in conflict resolution.

I came across a useful concept called "agent-regret". In other words, if something awful happens, you usually feel sorry for the person it happened to. If you are a bystander, then this is regret. If, however, you were somehow involved in what happened, even if it is not your fault, then it is appropriate to have a deeper level of regret. This is "agent-regret".
But if the agent in this case were to say "I don't need to apologise because it wasn't my fault", then this causes problems, because they are not acting in the manner expected, and this inflicts further hurt.

It seems that for some people "sorry" is indeed the hardest word to say. But saying you are sorry for someone's distress is not the same as admitting liability for it. Maybe some ministers need to be taught that.

how to embarrass your husband....

We went to get the tour of our new house yesterday. It's the first time we've seen inside it when not still being constructed (it's a new build). And it is lovely!
But all the floors are chipboard, so off we went to a big shop to look at some carpets etc. We were just wandering around, with me stroking the samples to get a feel for the carpets, when a salesman came up and asked if we'd like any help.
"Not at the minute, thanks, I'm just fondling the carpets"
Cue one red-faced salesman and husband immediately disowning me...

cheese

I'm not sure if this is just a local problem, or if it happens elsewhere too. I went to the local supermarket to buy cheese. There were about 60 varieties of Cheddar (which I'm not particularly keen on). But no Cheshire, Caerphilly, Wensleydale or even Red Leicester or Double Gloucester to be seen. Our local supermarket isn't a particularly large one, so I though I'd pick some up at the big superstore (different firm as well). But even there, I found rows and rows of Cheddar, and had to really search before I found the Red Leicester and Double Gloucester. Of Cheshire, Caerphilly, Wensleydale (the sort without the fruit!) I could find no trace whatsoever!
Is this a global conspiracy? Is Cheddar the new orthodoxy?

hope

We're due to get the keys for our new house in 2 weeks. So the manse is covered with stuff in varying degrees of packedness. I will be sad to move because it will mean various friends will no longer be just round the corner. At the same time, I will be glad, and am hoping for a new start.
Before that, I have a meeting with one of the "high heid yins" who was involved in the whole mess, to discuss a letter I wrote to them. I am rather apprehensive about this, as the last time they saw me I was somewhat lacking in self-control. (Yes, it was at the meeting when they told mr pastasmissus to resign and were ignoring anything we said, but I still don't think that really excuses it.)
So I am praying that I may act in a Christ-like manner. Not that I think that means meekly accepting anything that is said, but that injustice will be named and confronted in a Christ-like way. It would be too easy for me to act out of my own hurt and desire for vengeance. (And acting in such a way would also mean that my complaint could be written off as coming from a very hurt individual, rather than being taken seriously.)
I am a professional in another field, and have had occasional letters of complaint. I know how my profession is advised to handle such letters. It is interesting to compare this with what is happening to me in this situation. I will wait and see before commenting further, but if I'd handled a complaint the way this one has been dealt with so far, I would have been in serious trouble...