avoiding God

I'm busy avoiding God at present. It's not been that difficult with Guide camp occupying so much time and attention (and then the aftermath of recovering!). I thought I was just doing my usual thing of being busy and waving at God in passing, so to speak.
The trouble is, I don't avoid God completely. That would be too obvious. I talk to him a bit, general chat about what I'm up to, or what's bothering me, or that I'm too tired/busy to talk properly. Then if people ask me how things are going with God, I can tell them I'm still talking to him every day... Actually, it's more of a talking AT him...
And those who really know me know that the issue is not if I am talking to God, but if I am listening to him. Whether I am giving him a chance to get a word in edgeways and possibly disturb my life by telling me something I didn't want to hear.
But at present I don't think I want to give God a chance. Particularly as the last time I prayed like that I was shocked to find that I was blaming God for the way things have turned out, and for giving me false hope when he knew all along what would happen.
If, by definition, what God does is right, then my job is simply to accept that fact. At present, I can't. Oh, I still believe God can use this for good. But how do you go on trusting when you feel you've been let down? And how do you do it knowing that technically you haven't been let down, and therefore there is nothing for the other to apologise for?